Donna in Hollywoodland

The blog from Los Angeles and Hollywood by Donna Grayson

Tuesday, June 19, 2007


The Nice Oncologist


Not my favorite place to go - but I told my Doctor that I would see his buddy, an Oncologist.
They don't think there is anything wrong with me.
But my general family doctor said that he felt it would be a good idea to get check-ups from an oncologist as well.
And so he asked me "Why don't you just go and talk to My Guy, he has over 30 years experience, and I think you will like him."
It was the friendly approach.

I made an appointment with "His Guy" about a month ago, and somehow the appointment got all screwed up and I ended up with the wrong oncologist ,a man I had interview back in 2005 and did not like or trust.

Click on the link above, because I am sick of talking about Dr. Psycho.

Anyway, it took me another month to find the time - and the bravery - to try to make another appointment with Dr. My-Guy.
This was preceded by a phone call from the nurse trying to figure out Why, if I was a patient of Dr. Psycho's - was I making an appointment with Dr. My-Guy ?
I had to explain the long long painful story to her so it didn't get screwed up again.

Dr. My-Guy was in Downtown Los Angeles, and I had an afternoon appointment.
I arrive in the waiting room, and I waited.
There were a few patients there, some who were obviously having chemotherapy.
But the place seemed rather homey - and I thought "Gee I'm getting a good vibe from this place".

Soon, I was in the Examination room in one of those little paper outfits that barely covered everything.
And I was sliding of the examination table.

Dr. My-Guy walked in, and he was very nice. Very well-educated. And most of all, open-minded and understanding.
30 years of experience had taught him alot.

He asked me more questions about my health than most doctors ever do. And he seemed interested in everything that affected me - not only the breast cancer, but my hypoglycemia, and recent bladder infection - even my heartburn.
He wrote everything down.

Then we discussed the Chemotherapy.
I made it clear that I had already talked to two doctors about it. And I pretty much understood what it did, and that I really don't want it.
He said "Well, it really is, 100% your decision", with a kind smile.
(I guess he had read the complaint letter I sent to the Medical Group about Dr. Psycho, his associate, who screamed at me that I was going to DIE if I didn't have chemo.)

We talked about my one and only kidney...(one was removed as a child).
I held my hands out like two balancing scales to my side.
I said "On one side is my one and only kidney - on the other side is chemotherapy for cancer."
And I moved my hand up and down, like I was balancing something.
"If you can guarantee nothing will happen to my kidney while I go through chemo" - I moved my hands up and down...
"But you can't - and as I see it, the small percentage of improvement that chemo will make, is not worth the risk of my one and only kidney."

I told him I realized that for what I had, my risk was a 30% chance of getting cancer somewhere in my body again.
But if I got the chemo, it was only reduced to 22%.
And that was at the risk of my one kidney.

He said "Those percentage sound about right."

I moved my hands up and down some more "Now I'm weighing things here, so if you can totally cure me of cancer with the chemo, then I might decide that risking my kidney is worth it."

He shook his head. And wrote it down.

Then he said "You have to realize, you have a 30% chance of getting cancer again. But that means that you have a 70% chance of not getting cancer."
And he started throwing out articles published in the New England Journal of Medicine. This is basically what he said:
That of the women who got chemo... there was a percentage of them where cancer was never going to comeback no matter what they did, so they didn't need the chemo to begin with.
And there was a percentage of them where the cancer was definitely going to come back in spite of the chemo or whatever they did. So they got a treatment that didn't work.
So taking all that into consideration, only 15% of women who received chemo actually were cured by the chemo.
It was something like that.
So thats 85% of woman who got chemo didn't need it.

I wish I had the actual print out of this medical report. If you know a link, please email it to me.
He was tossing out percentages and figures, and my brain was trying to keep up.

I was really impressed with the fact that he said this to me.
I told my friends "I am sure this was his Pep Talk for the patients who refuse chemo."
And he probably has an entire different Pep Talk planned for patients who decide to go through the chemo, stating the facts and figures as to why it will help them.

But just the fact that he was really supportive of me, made me feel good.
I was feeling so much better, and had alot more Faith in what was going to happen.
And speaking of studies - alot of studies show that your attitude and mental outlook have a big effect on your physical health.
So it was wonderful that this doctor was encouraging me.

He gave me a thorough once-over. Feeling all my lymph nodes. Tapping on my bones and my back. Listening to my lungs. Squeezing my liver.
"Well, your liver feels healthy, its definitely not inflamed" he said.
Ouch.

Then we started to talk out Nutrition, Exercise and Supplements.
On an Oncologists office?
Wow, I am impressed.
Lose weight, Exercise - yeah yeah I know.
He quoted another study from a medical journal. That cancer survivors who exercised a half hour every day, had a 50% less chance of the cancer reoccurring.
And he said "Exercising an half hour a day - will actually do more for you than the chemotherapy."
He actually said that.

Make sure I am getting enough Vitamin D.
Q10 - studies haven't really proved it works for cancer, but its good for your heart. The problem is that the pill form is difficult for the body to absorb. He actually has a Colleague in his office who is working on a clinical trial with a Q10 Cream, that you rub into your skin so it gets absorbed.

I told him about the Antioxidants that I take...Curcumin Extract, Mushroom Extract, Grapeseed Extract, Quercetin.
He said, yes the antioxidants are okay - they haven't really been proven. Just make sure that I am taking a high-grade brand, that states the amount of the product in the pill. And try to take antioxidants where the bottle gives you the ORAC Certification .
This will actually tell you how much antioxidant your are getting in the pill.

The website is Orac Watch , but it is alittle to technical, more for the vitamin manufacturers.
And another link on Wikipedia

I will have to read more about this ORAC Certification. It sounds very interesting, and I am glad there is finally a way that you can tell if the product you are buying is good or nore.

Also, here are some of my favorite websites:
Breast Cancer Choices
Annie Appleseed Project
Skin Deep Cosmetic Safety

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posted by Donna Grayson  # 5:59 PM (0) comments

Monday, April 16, 2007


Weird Oncologists


This a really Weird Doctor's Appointment story .. so I will give some historical background in this post.

I only went to see an Oncologist today because the doctor I had for 6 years left the Group, my new doctor asked me to follow-up with "his guy", an oncologist with 15 years experience, named Dr. G.
Doctor New told me he knew I didn't want chemotherapy for the breast cancer in had in 2005, but there would be no harm in just going to talk to Dr. G because he was "a really good guy".
So I said okay, and the office made an appointment for me with Dr. G.

Now... go back to 2005 to when I was diagnosed. My Breast Cancer Surgeon made me 2 appointments with two different oncologists... one was Dr. S, - but I will call him Dr. Psycho .... 2 years ago, after I had my wacky consultation with him, he kept calling me and having his staff call me.
His staff would call me and say "We are calling to confirm you appointment." - and I had no appointment.
He kept calling me at my office, and it got to the point we were yelling at eachother. He would call, and I would tell him not to call again - and he would. I told him point blank that even if I was going to have the Chemo, he would not be giving it to me... and I would never have him be my doctor. Then one day he called and we were screaming at eachother... and my coworkers overheard it and were very worried... and he was yelling at me "You are going to DIE ! You are going to DIE if you don't have chemotherapy!"

So I sent him a Fax ... and I told him that if he continued to call me, or have his staff call me, I was going to get a Restraining Order against him.
After that, he didn't call me.

One of the reasons why I wanted nothing to do with Dr. Psycho was that he was a very good lier.
I was concerned about getting Chemotherapy because I have had only one kidney since childhood.
His reply was "Well, what will happen if the breast cancer spreads to your kidney - then you will really have problems."
When I told my regular doctor and my breast surgeon what he said .. they were both very honest.
Breast Cancer can't spread to your kidney. It can spread to your brain, lungs, liver or bones. Those are some how all related, and its to scientific so I can't explain it. But they both said if I were to ever end up with Kidney cancer,
it would an entirely different cancer, and not related to the Breast Cancer at all.

So there I was in 2005, weighting Pros and Cons on a Scale, trying to figure out what to do with my health and all the cancer treatments the doctors were telling me about....
And Dr. Psycho tries a scare tactic, and lies to me.
So forget him.

Not to mention he turned out to be a real Psycho, and gave me all sorts of weird phone calls.

So now Today, Thursday morning.....I take the morning off from work, and I drive to downtown LA (Its only about a 30 minute drive). I get to the office for my appointment with Dr. G, who is the new oncologist that my doctor recommended. I tell them I am here to see "Dr. G" and I pay my insurance co-payment, and I wait in the waiting room. The Nurses take my blood pressure. And Nurses take me to the exam room. We even have a little conversation of how Dr. New recommended Dr. G because he likes him and he has 15 years experience.

In the Exam room I take off my shirt and bra, and I put on that little smock . So I am waiting there in the little smock for Doctor G...... and in walks Dr. Psycho !

Right away I knew it was not Dr. G, because Dr. Psycho is much younger.. I am thinking of the 15 years experience that Dr. New talked about .... and I sense that something is really wrong .... and Dr Psycho says to me "Donna,
do you remember me?"
And I look down at his name badge, and it says "Dr. Psycho". (Well, Dr. His-Real-Name.)
And I was so mad !

He said something about a Mix-up, and Dr. G was not available - Did I want to talk to another Doctor?
I stood my ground and said "No, Dr. New, recommended Dr. G because he has 15 years experience, and they know eachother."
He said "But are you sure you don't want to talk to anyone else?" Of course, he means Himself.
I said "NO, I want to talk to the doctor, that my new Doctor recommended."
He started to ask me questions about my health and my cancer follow-ups. I told him I had passed all my mammograms and was following up with my Breast Cancer Surgeon every 3 to 6 months - but that I wanted to discuss that with Dr. G and no one else.

So after I am naked in that little smock - he says "Ok, we will cancel your appointment today, and you can make another appointment with Dr. G."

So I put on my clothes, I go back out to the front desk ... and they try to make another appointment with me.
I tell them my Day Planner is at the office and I will have to call them later on.
The two nurses smile at me like Brain-Washed Cult Members.

Then they give me back my check for my insurance co-payment !!!!
Isn't that the weirdest thing - they cancel the appointment and give me my check back - after I am naked in the little smock in the exam room and have seen a Doctor !

Well, I wasted the entire morning that I took off from work.
They could have called me the day before, or even that morning, and told me that Dr. G was not available, and ask if I was willing to see another doctor ... but I am sure they didn't because Dr. Psycho thought he could get me in the exam room, naked in that little smock, and I would be vulnerable and easily manipulated.
I don't think it was a scheduling error. Dr. Psycho knew I was coming in and planned it.
I felt so Emotionally Abused, .....

I sent Dr. Psycho's office a fax right away - and I told them I was not their patient, do not call me, and I will be getting a different oncologist referral from Dr. New.
Then I sent Dr. New a fax, asking for a different referral, and telling him the entire story of my history with Dr. Psycho, including what happened in 2005, and with what happened this morning.
I am sure Dr. New is mad, because he got me to the point where I was willing to see an oncologist and then Dr. Psycho screwed it all up.
They should have called me before I went down there and rescheduled my appointment, but Dr. Psycho is a very manipulative person.

I also have a call into the health care group's complaint department. I'm waiting for them to call me back...
Believe me, I will be placing a complaint.


Links:
Books on Natural & Holistic Cancer health

Here is a fantastic website:
BreastCancerChoices.org

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posted by Donna Grayson  # 2:09 PM (0) comments

Thursday, March 15, 2007


Ground-up and Bitter

So I get a call from my new doctors nurse. I thought they had the results of the CT scan already. No.... they had the results of the pee in the cup.

"You still have a urinary tract infection. The Doctor has called in the antibiotic prescription to your pharmacy" She said.

Dang, and I thought my pee had looked so pretty in the cup- compared to all the others I saw on the shelf.
I guess looks don't matter when it comes to a urinary tract infection.

After work I stopped at Rite Aid .
This time it is Sulfamethoxazole.
And sure enough - they are big chalky pills.
I wait to speak to the pharmacist, and I ask him if they can be pulverized and put in juice .
Yes, they can.
Yeah I am so happy.

Always ask the pharmacist if they can be put into the pulverizer - because some pills you just can't.

The Sulfamethoxazole in juice doesn't taste so bad.
The Cipro I had been on a few weeks ago, had tasted really bitter. And I had to drink more juice right away, and chew gum to get rid of the flavor.
Sulfamethoxazole really doesn't dissolve that well. It stays as chunky tiny pieces that I have to somehow get down my throat.
So I barely taste it as it goes down. Its just grainy.

The another thing with Sulfamethoxazole is that you have to drink a ton of water. Or it can cause crystals to form in your urinary tract.
You might want to actually take a peek at your Pee, and if you see sugary flakes in the toilet bowl water, then you need to drink more water. And stay away from acidic drinks like coffee for an hour before and after you take the medication. These sugary flakes form because your pee is to acidic. They can make your kidneys bleed, and you don't want that.

As you can tell, I read the instructions that Rite Aid gives completely all the way through. And I look at the drug company website.
I'll bring up the page on the drug company website and hit "Control F" for Find.... then I will type in my concerns like Cancer or hypoglycemia. That way I can see if the website says anything about their drug interfering with any of my other problems which aren't related to what they are currently trying to cure.

Sometimes when I write stuff like this I think "I should have been a doctor."
I have one sister and one sister-in-law who are nurses, but it never
appealed to me. I don't have what it takes to be in the medical profession. If a
patient told me a medicine tasted bad, or made them feel weird, I'd completely agree with them ....
I have no strength of character when it comes to yucky medical things.

But I will drink bitter ground-up antibiotics in juice when I have to.
My sister, the one who is the Nurse, was shocked when she found out I
grind up my antibiotics.
"What does it taste like ?!?!" she asked
"Absolutely the most disgusting thing you can imagine" I happily replied.
She was horrified - and she's the nurse.


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posted by Donna Grayson  # 10:57 PM (0) comments

Wednesday, March 14, 2007


Sinus CT scan

I told my boss at the office that I was going to get a CT Scan of my sinuses.
I said "I will try to come back to the office, but I don't know how horrible it will be or what they will do to me".
Anything that is named "CT Scan" pretty much scares me. And I was very nervous.

The technician reminded me of Jennifer Lopez, I kid you not.
I said "I have never done one of these before, I'm alittle nervous."

She made me take off my earrings, and any other metal around my face.
I laid on my stomach, with a pillow under my chin. So my head was bent back.
Then she said said "Get comfortable, because you have to stay in the position for seven minutes."
"I'll try, Its kinda hard", I replied.
Then she fed me through the CT Scan Donut thing.

I was worried because I kept swallowing. I was wondering if that was going to ruin the image, but I guess not. Because after the seven minutes, we were done.

That was that. No yucky drink or injection. And I was pretty much out of there in 15 minutes.
I wish all medical tests were that easy. I was back to the office in no time.

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posted by Donna Grayson  # 12:51 PM (0) comments

Monday, March 12, 2007


Meet & Greet with the Doctor


Even though I have already had one appointment with him, and I have been to "After Hours Care" more than I can count - today was my "Meet & Greet" extra-long appointment with my new Doctor.

It went well. We went over pretty much everything wrong with me.
How did I get this old so fast ?
I'm totally falling apart.

He wants to me to visit his Oncologist, even though I don't want chemotherapy.
"I recommend that people who have had cancer get check ups with on oncologist as well as with me," he said.
Ok, whatever... I ended up with an appointment form.

And, I need to go see the Arthritis specialist, because the arthritis in my hips in killing me. so another referral and appointment form.....

"You know, every pound that you loose with be in your favor as far as the arthritis is concerned", the doctor said as gently as possible to remind to lose weight.
Yeah, I know.

Finally, since I keep getting sick - bronchitis and then the Flu - he ordered a CT scan of my sinuses .
To see if I have a deviated septum, or any cysts or nodules growing in my sinuses.
Thats what he told me anyway. But I know he is really checking for cancer.
I keep getting a cold/flu thing - so they are going fishing to see if anything else could possibly be causing them besides your basic cold/flu viruses.
I told him that I was fine getting a CT scan, as long as I didn't drink any toxic liquid that would make me sick.
He said they can do a CT of your sinuses without contrast. And he ordered it without contrast material. Another appointment form.

The way things are going with me - if I got a hang-nail three times in a row, they would probably do a CT scan of my dern finger. I'm joking, but you know what I mean.

By the time I left the doctor, I had my hands filled with paper. Appointment forms.
First, off to pee in a cup. Double-check that the urinary tract infection went away.
Ok, I am still not drinking alot of water or enough cranberry juice.
So I had to pee in the cup....

There was alittle shelf to leave the cup on. And compared to some of the other pee in the other cups, my pee looked pretty good if I must say so.
Some of those people who peed in those cups, should be worried. Some of the pee I was looking at reminded me of a dark pilsner beer. I was looking at the cups thinking "Did they drink beer for breakfast? That can't be good."
Yuck... just a reminder to drink 8 glasses of water every day.

Then it was to the Xray Department, to have an Xray done of my hips.
The technician escorted me to the changing room.
"Ok, take off everything from the waist up. You can leave the jeans on." said the Tech.
"But I am having my hips Xrayed", I said slightly worried.

The technician crinkled his eyebrows and said "Wait here, I'll be right back" and he went off to check my forms.
He said that I was right, it was my hips they were xraying - but that they actually had someone else scheduled for a chest xray at the same time, and both our papers got all stuck together.
Thank heavens he actually did end up xraying the correct part of my body - my hips.

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posted by Donna Grayson  # 5:24 PM (0) comments

Tuesday, February 06, 2007


Mammogram Time

Since having a lumpectomy and radiation for Breast Cancer in 2005, I tell my Doctor to schedule all the tests "like clockwork".
I refused the chemo ... but I still want to keep up to date with my follow-ups.

They are usually emotionally traumatic enough, that I need to take the day off from work.
So far, I have passed every test with flying colors. But it still freaks me out.

Today was my mammogram - every 6 months, like clock-work.
I have had all the paperwork in my Dayplanner, since the last check-up 6 months ago.

I arrive at the Breast Cancer Center in Glendale.... and they ask me for my paperwork.
And where is the paperwork ?
Exactly where it has been for the last 6 months ... in my Dayplanner - which is at home !

I explain the situation to them. They have to call the Doctors office and have them fax a copy of the paperwork over.
I am apologizing and apologizing for forgetting the papers. I even offer to race home to get it.
But it gets faxed over, and I am ready for my mammograms.

The last two times its been done, we only did the left breast - the one that caused all the trouble.
Now, they are doing a mammogram on both breasts. And that has me alittle worried. I wonder if my right breast has started to cause problems, and we haven't been checking it. I actually worry more about the right, healthy breast - than I do about the left breast that has had cancer.
Go figure.

But everything goes off without a hitch.
Everything is fine. No problem.
They say the Mammogram Doctor will call me with the results later in the afternoon.
And that has me worried - why are they going to call me - I try to put it out of my mind.

I stop off in Los Feliz, at The Alcove .
I order a Turkey Burger & Onion Rings and an Iced Tea.
If ever there could possibly exist Healthy Onion Rings - it would be the ones at The Alcove.

I try to relax, enjoy my food, and not think about the mammogram.
I decide to check my Cell phone to see if the Mammogram Doctor has called - and my Cell phone Battery has run out of juice !!! Its dead.

This goes along with my theory that the Human Brain only has so many slots.
And Mammograms and Doctor things take up alot of slots.
So today there was no room in my head to remember the paperwork, or to remember to recharge the cellphone battery.

I finish my yummy meal. And I think about getting one of the Alcove's wonderful cakes, but I decide against it.

When I get home, I have a voice mail from the Mammogram Doctor.
"Ms. Grayson, I just want to let you know I looked over your mammogram, and there is no sign of cancer. Everything is normal. I will see you in another six months."

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Tuesday, January 23, 2007


Necessities

It was time for one of those Necessities of Life.
The Pap Test .

My new doctor's office actually has a woman practitioner who only takes care of woman's issues.
I think they call her the "Women's Wellness Doctor" or something.

I waited in the room forever. And then she gave me all the necessary tests.
Its weird - you meet someone for the first time, and before you know it, they are looking at places where the sun don't shine. Its embarrassing no matter how nice they are.
I was happy to tell her that I had a colonoscopy not to long ago - so we could pass on those exams for now.

Since this is at a completely different location, in a different doctors office - she seemed to be really confused about my previous breast cancer.
I had a lumpectomy in Aug 2005, followed
with radiation treatments ending Dec 2005.

Right now, the only thing different is that the left side looks more tan than the right side.
And there is just a little incision on the left side as well.
But the Womens Wellness Practitioner couldn't figure it out -
"Did you have a mastectomy with reconstruction ?" she said looking straight my tan left breast.
I answered "No, a lumpectomy with radiation."

She asked "Why didn't you have a mastectomy?" - which I thought was a strange question. Kind of late to be asking that.
I answered "The doctors at the time didn't think I needed it."
What a strange set of questions she was asking me ...
She seemed perplexed....

And ... I was happy when the entire thing was over with.

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Monday, January 08, 2007


New Doctor

Remember when I went to the doctor around my birthday last month, and he diagnosed me with bronchitis ?
Well, I have started to have bad pains in my side.
You know the phrase "It only hurts when I laugh?" - well, thats me.

I need to find a new doctor right now. The doctor I had for 6 years stopped working for my medical group, or moved out of state - or who knows.
I just got a "Dear Patient" letter saying "It was nice being your doctor for the last 6 years, but I will no longer be working with this medical group."

He recommended a doctor at his location. But I had gone to her twice, and I did not like her. She's the type of doctor, who gives a pill for everything. If I had kept seeing her, I would be taking 20 different pills per day - and I don't mean vitamins.

So I decided to try out their location near Downtown Los Angeles. This is the same place with the After Hours Care.
Today was my first day seeing my new doctor.

We discussed my pain, he went over my files. I explained how there is a sharp pain when I laugh or cough.
He explained that due to my having Radiation on the left side because of the breast cancer, that my rib cage and cartilage is sensitive.
He is sure that my cartilage is irritated due to all the coughing I have been doing.

He recommended that I take extra calcium, because it will help both the bones and the muscles repair.
I liked the fact that he suggested a vitamin right off the bat.

Then, even tho this is more an emergency appointment - my official first appointment is in March - we discussed my chart alittle.
Yes, I did get the questions as to why I did not want chemotherapy. We chatted about my surgery and the radiation.
And he asked me about my supplements. I said the Co-vitamin Q10, Grape Seed Extract, Fish Oil, Flax Seed, Mushroom Extract - he said "Oh, yes, those are all good anti-oxidants to help your body fight the cancer cells."
Oh, wow - I liked him already.

He then reminded me that exercise was also important in fighting off the cancer cells......
oh, yeah, thats right... exercise...

Basically for the pain, there is nothing much they can do. Wait it out. It takes about 2 months to heal.
Don't do whatever it is that is causing me pain - because it has to heal.
No laughing, or coughing and I can't tie my shoes.....

He took a chest x-ray just to be sure that there were no cracked ribs.
Just going for those x-rays freaked me out. It brought back alot of bad memories from the radiation treatments.
I felt alittle shell-shocked as they were taking the xrays - like I was back in a bad dream.
The room was kind of swaying, and my heart was beating fast. To many bad memories.

The xrays showed no broken or cracked ribs. So it looks like cartilage or muscle.
So all I can do is be careful and wait it out.

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Monday, November 20, 2006


Doctor Appointment

Today was my scheduled check up with the Breast Cancer Doctor.
We have my "every six months" mammogram scheduled for February 2007.
I will probably have the cancer marker blood tests done then as well.

I am feeling good. My general health is good.
My last radiation treatment was December 29 2005.
But I still have some problems from time to time due to the radiation treatments I received.
There is swelling on the left side. And it just feels weird.
The doctor says that it is normal. Nothing unusual for someone who has had radiation treatments.

The main thing that bugs me is that me left hand and fingers will get a little poofy.
My left and right hand don't even look the same.

And now my skin seems to break out more on the left side. On my neck and shoulders and back.
I think because the left breast, and the area under my arm, were treated with radiation for the cancer, (and six lymph nodes were removed) - the liquid on my left side just doesn't flow naturally.
I have naturally oily skin, and I don't think the oil and the lymph fluid has any where to go.
So I break out.

My doctor recommended a dermatologist to see for my skin.
I guess if that is my worst complaint, then I am doing pretty good.


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Friday, October 20, 2006


Emergency Doctor Appointment


I have to admit after having breast cancer last year, all it takes is one little bump to freak me out.
Everyone gets a little tweak or knot now and again, especially if you are over 40.
But after having a run in with cancer, all those little tweaks and knots take on new meaning.

I already ran to the breast cancer doctor once for a bump in my left arm. She told me right away I had sprained
a muscle, and the muscle was injured. It wasn't cancer.

Then a few weeks ago, I was sitting at my desk at the office, and I rubbed behind my neck.
I right away felt a bump on the back of my neck.

I ran to the ladies room, pulled my hair back, and saw a lump.
I went into one of the stalls and cried.
I was sure this was it. It was all over.

Of course, this happened on a Friday night at 6:30 pm, after all my doctors had gone home for the weekend.
So I drove to an after hours care facility and saw a Stranger Doctor.
I just wanted to have someone professional look at it.

I explained my entire story to him. He was very professional and understanding.
He looked at the lump.
It was some-kind of weird cyst on the back of my neck.

I told him I had breast cancer last year.
"No, its a cyst. It is in the skin. I can grab it with my fingers. Its not a lymph node at all."

He prescribed antibiotics (which made a huge difference) and a hot compress.
At 1:00 am, I went home.

Then a few days later, I went and saw my regular primary doctor.
Just to be sure.
Same thing. Keep taking the anitbiotics the other doctor gave me. Keep doing a hot compress.

I reminded my Primary Care Doctor "Remember, I had breast cancer last year."
"No, this is a cyst in your skin" he said.
I replied "I want to be sure. Even though I've passed all my recent mammograms and blood tests."

Then he told me some thing really bad.
He said "I have a patient. Breast Cancer 8 years ago. Every mammogram and test she passed. Never any problem for eight full years. Then one day, she had discharge from her nipple. We give her more tests - cancer all throughout her breast and lungs and chest area. She's terminal now. It came back after eight years."

I didn't really understand why he told me this terrible story.
Especially when all I have right now is a cyst.
Maybe he doesn't want me to put alot faith in the tests.
But it made me think that as far as Cancer goes - my primary care doctor might be looking for something big.
Not alittle lump.

So off I went to my Breast Cancer doctor.
I felt bad, because I think I had all of her nurses worried to death when I called.
I told them I needed to see her right away, I had a lump on the back of my neck.
And to tell her that I am reconsidering another CT scan.

She saw me in her office. And said the Same thing.
"Its a cyst. Its in your skin."
But by now the cyst was alot smaller, because I have been taking the antibiotics.

I mentioned the CT Scan again.
My first CT scan last year made me really sick.
And I only have one kidney. I don't want to put chemicals through my kidney unless it is really necessary.
So I have passed on any follow-up CT scans, unless I have a symptom that needs further investigation.

"You are sure its a cyst? Its not a lymph node ? If there is any doubt, maybe I need the CT scan now." I asked.
My breast cancer doctor did not say any thing to push me into the CT scan.
She knows I really don't want it, and that I am just panicking because of the cyst.
And even though she probably won't admit because she's a "cancer doctor" - I bet I have a good arguement about not putting all those toxic chemicals through my one and only kidney, unless its absolutely necessary.

As I left, I saw her telling her receptonist "No, its not a lump."
I guess they were worried.

So I finished off the antibotics.
Did the hot compresses.
The stupid cyst went away.

That was three doctors, and three insurance co-payments for a stupid cyst.
But all in all, I think I made the right decision to have doctors look at it until I was positive everything was okay.

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