Donna in Hollywoodland

Second Day, Liquid Diet and other things

I continued on with the liquid diet for the colonoscopy, just like yesterday.

Then, at One o'clock in the afternoon, I was getting ready for the awful part.
Drinking the Fleet phosphate that makes you poop your brains out, followed by the fleet enema.

I had all the little green boxes lined up on the bathroom counter.
I read the instructions.
Gee, it seems like they want me to take alot. 2 bottles and an enema.
Which seems about three times the dosage.

Then I read the little "Warning" paragraph:
"Do not use if you've had kidney problems."

Okay, whats that supposed to mean ? I only have one kidney. Is that a problem ?

I call up the nurse at the Colonoscopy office. I ask her if its okay to use the Fleet products.
She said she will ask the doctor, and call me back.

Don't ask me where I was, or what I was doing. But all of a sudden I looked, and there was a message from the nurse on my machine:
"No, don't take that ! We gave you the wrong thing ! Call us immediately ! But don't take that!"

I called her, and she mumbled something about only ever having one other patient with a kidney problem, so they forgot.
She needed to call in a prescription to my local pharmacy for a product pronounced "Golightly".

Now, I really don't mind the fact that they almost damaged my one and only kidney.
But asking me to get in a car and drive 5 blocks to the pharmacy, when I haven't eaten in a day and a half - well, thats just a bit much.
I literally eat a gigantic bowl of pineapple jello before I leave.
I find it does give me strength to make it to the pharmacy.

I bring home a huge container with a powder in it.
I fill it up with water, and put it in the fridge.
Then I get ready for bed - and, yum, easy access.

The "Golightly" product tastes like flat alka seltzer at first.
I follow the instructions, and drink one glass every 10 minutes.
Well, or as close to 10 minutes as possible.
Sometimes, it was time for another glass, and I was still suffering the effects of the previous glass.

As I make my way through the large container, I start to really taste it.
Its no longer flat alka seltzer.
But some kind of oily petroleum product in water.
Oh, yuck.
At least the weird chemicals this stuff is made out of is keeping me hydrated.

Then there is the question of how much to drink.
Do you really think I want to drink the whole thing ?
Noooooo.....
There is something in the instructions that says until the effects "run clear".
Okay, what does "run clear" mean ?
The looks of plain tea ? No sugar, no cream.
Ok, good enough, I decide. Thats it. I'm done.