Donna in Hollywoodland

Colonoscopy Interview

Ugh ... its time to move away from the exciting life of Hollywood (yeah, right) for just a moment ... and post about that uglier side of my life ... The Damn Cancer.

For those viewers just joining our programming, back in Aug 2005 I had a lumpectomy for left breast cancer, with 6 lymph nodes removed. Followed by Radiation Treatments. And I refused Chemo.
My Six month check-up and Mammogram turned out a-okay with a clean bill of health.

But while I was going through my Radiation Treatments, my family informed me that my older sister who lives in Washington State had just been operated on for Stage 4 Colon Cancer.

Of course, when I told my Doctors this news, they all about had heart-attacks. They all said the same thing: "You know Breast Cancer and Colon Cancer are related."

Okay, fine. I already knew I would need to get a Colonoscopy because of the Breast Cancer. And I told my Breast Surgeon that as soon as I was done with the Jury Service I could not get out of, I would schedule a Colonoscopy. (I'm following the colonoscopy with a trip to the Dentist - so life is just a bowl of cherries.)

Of course, none of the Colon Doctors that either my Breast Surgeon or General Practicioner recommended were covered by my insurance.
She was insistent that I use a Colon Surgeon, just in case I needed any surgery done. Then according to her, I would already have a surgeon familiar with my situation.
So none of the regular Gastro doctors my friends recommended would fit the bill either.
I eventually faxed over a list of names from the Insurance company to my Breast Surgeon, who gave me her recommendation.

So today I had the Interview Appointment scheduled at one in the afternoon.

But first, my morning did not get started very well.

In our elevators at work, we had these little TV / computer screens. They transmit News, Weather and Advertising.
You stand in the elevator and watch all the information so you do not get bored going from floor to floor.

First thing this morning, I get in the elevator. I am by myself. The doctor appointment on my my mind. After I punch the button, I look up to read the TV screen.
Right there on the screen:
"Colon Cancer can appear five years earlier than expected in people who smoke, drink or are overweight - according to Scientists at Blah Blah Blah Research Center."

On the day I have the interview scheduled with the Colon Surgeon.
This appears on the Elevator TV screen.

Now, I really am not a crazed religious person.
But I looked at the TV Screen, and in my mind I shouted:
"Oh, no you don't Satan. God is on my side. And I rebuke that. That does not apply to me!"
Well, the smoking really doesn't apply to me. But I won't accept the rest either.

I felt much better after I told The Devil Himself to go take a hike.

I left the office early enough to get to my appointment in Burbank.
As I expected I had a pile of paperwork to fill out for Mr. Colon Surgeon.
They needed all my history : I'm hypoglycemic, only have one kidney, past breast cancer, family history of colon cancer and skin cancer.

Then the question was : Please List All Complaints.
I kind of chuckled.
Well, I don't have any complaints.
I feel healthier than I have in a long time.
So I wrote "None at Present. Past history of Breast Cancer. Sister with Colon Cancer."

After I was done with the forms, it was time to meet Mr. Colon Surgeon.
He was very nice, and young. And he's done more Colonoscopies than you can count.
He seemed very confident that he knew how to recognize cancer and polyps.

He asked me "Why Are you Here ? Why do you want a Colonscopy?"
I said "Well, thats a funny question. Your form asked if I have any Complaints. And I don't have any Complaints. I feel really good. All my plumbing is working just fine. Its just with my past history, and my family history - my other doctors want me to do it."

And he looked at me and said what all the other doctors are saying "Yes, you know Breast Cancer and Colon Cancer are Related."
I said "I've heard that."

I went to the front desk, picked the date and scheduled the colonoscopy.
I got the instruction sheet. And I had already heard that the Prep is horrid.
No seeds or nuts or stringy veggies like celery for 5 days.
No solid food for two days. Only clear liquids.
The day before I have to drink some awful drink that makes you poop your brains out.
My breast surgeon told me to have plenty of toilet paper and baby wipes.
As one friend who has had it done said "And its not nice poop".

Oh, well, maybe I will lose 5 pounds from the experience.

After the appointment, even though it was cold and windy - I took about a 45 minute walk.
Taking pictures and walking up and down the block.

Then I really needed lunch. So I stopped at Panera's in Studio City.
It was a steak & walnut salad with goat cheese. And an oatmeal cookie. Very yummy.