Donna in Hollywoodland

Horrible Fashion Disasters

I left the hospital radiology department, and went directly to the nail salon and beauty parlor.

I would not have time for a pedicure, the shoes are close-toed anyway. So it will be a manicure only.
I explained to the guy, not to cut on my left hand because I had had surgery on that side. (I wasn't going to try to explain lymph nodes to him.)
As I sat having my nails done, it struck me how I am so afraid of all the toxic substances they use at the hospital - Yet here I sit in a nail salon, inhaling toxic substances, and putting them on my fingers.
Ah, such is the price for beauty.
I had my nails done in a nice frosted copper color.

After the nails were done, I went next door to the hair salon. This is the place I usually get my trim. I figured they could do a nice formal hair style for me. Oh, no....

I showed the Stylist, who was an older ethnic women - russian, armenian, german, something like that - a picture of Jennifer Lopez .
Okay, I know there is no way I will look like JLo. But the hairstyle was really nice.
Large waves, soft and flowing, very sexy and stylish.

They stylist put me in very large rollers. Okay, good start.
I sat under the dryer for a half hour. My hair did not want to dry. Bad hair, bad, bad.
She took out the rollers and started hair-spraying my hair.
Lots and lots of hair spray. My hair was as hard as a brick. So much for the soft.
Then she started to teeze my hair, giving it lift at the crown. So much for the flowing waves.
Next, she curled my bangs into one big round curl on my forehead - that wasn't in the picture.
More and more hairspray.

Oh, dear Lord - I don't look like JLo - I look like a little ethnic woman. On her way to mass at the orthodox church.
Ahhhh - I look like the Hair Stylist !!!!
Or one of her little ethnic friends !!! Lets eat borsch together. Or Sauerkraut.
What happened to sexy JLo ???!!!???

This was such a disaster.
But the little woman was so proud of her work, I couldn't tell her.
Luckily, it was cheap, not an expensive salon.
I tipped her, and told her how much I loved it.
She was so round and old and happy.

On the drive home, I told myself "All I have to do is brush it out."
I head directly to the bathroom. I start brushing my hair.
All that hair spray - its dried out and flaking.
I look like I have Dandruff !!!

It is now 3 o'clock. I wanted to be at the Beverly Hilton alittle early at 4. Thats not going to happen.
I need to wash my hair.
I will end up getting there about 5, just in time for my shift at the check-in table to start.

Then I look - there is black marker all over my chest from the hospital CT scan this morning.
I had forgotten. This can not be happening .... but it is.

They told me to take rubbing alcohol to get the marker off. It smears.
I used like 10 cotton balls.
I finally get most of it off, then I jump in the shower and - finally - start getting ready.